Internal Family Systems

Inside Out characters as an idea of “parts work”

As I put my item that I’ve purchased on the counter, I hear the woman on the cashier say, “What is your phone number?”

I pause for a moment and respond, “Can I ask what you need it for?”

Internally I notice a part of me is on alert and feeling like a little red internal part of me is lit up. 

As I continue to hear what her response is, “We need it to open up a profile for you. Once you have a profile then we can look up your past purchases, if you need store credit or any returns. But you need a profile to be able to do that.” 

I notice her tension in her jaw and her eyes have a certain, “Just do it” look to them. I feel her protector energy and I feel it bringing up my protector energy. I notice internally that my part that is lit is one of my manager “self advocate-I need choices” part. This part of me is one in which I know well and have come to even admire. It’s the part of me that feels into experiences in which I’m feeling pressured to do something and I’m not sure exactly what I want to do. This part of me remembers my experiences of school in which I felt pressured to just do what was being asked of me without asking questions and when it spoke up it protected the pain of being ignored. It remembers the part of me (exile) that carries shame and embarrassment in being who I am that others may not get or like and works hard to make sure I don’t feel that pain. So I get why it’s logged on and needed to show up to me. 

Going back inward to thank my manager self advocate part for reminding me that I need information and understanding before just saying yes, I turn back to the cashier and do just that. Take in the information she shared about a profile, slowing down to ask myself if that is something I need or want and then verbalizing, “No thank you.” From that place I can see her disappointment and frustration and annoyance without getting into my own internal loop of “I did something wrong here” and see it for what it is, her own emotional reaction that she is entitled to have and I don’t have to take in that information as anything more than that. It allows the parts of me that often feel guilty for doing things wrong to relax. 

What is Internal Family Systems?

Internal Family Systems is a therapeutic technique that looks at mindbody energy system as a connected web of parts and Self. It was developed and popularized by Dr. Richard Schwartz and has quickly made it way into mainstream therapy as a way to help support clients in understanding themselves and provide healing. Personally it has been very meaningful to my own healing journey and professionally I am trained as a Level 1 IFS provider so I also use it often with clients as a mode of healing. Below is some information about it to help you learn some basic information about it. 

IFS proposes that people have a core or “Self” that serves as a compassionate centered core of being. The goal of IFS therapy is to help clients establish a healthier relationship with their parts that can only come through with the support of knowing and feeling Self energy, establish a sense of communication, healing, understanding, and addressing parts needs and concerns. What makes IFS unique to other parts work is the knowing of Self energy that exists in all humans and using that as a means of support and healing. 

IFS has language to describe different parts of ones internal working system and will look at the system through the eyes of Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles. Managers are parts in the system that carry protective proactive energy and often strives to control, plan ahead, and will want to ensure an individual’s well being through managing and overseeing interaction with other parts. Managers that function in a body that is well regulated carry energy of planning, setting goals, accomplishing tasks, allow for consistency to be a priority, and will be willing to relax enough to let other parts take a lead at times. Managers that function in a body that is dysregulated show up as excessive control, rigidity, hypervigilance, heightened sense of responsibility that often leads to stress, difficulty sleeping, burnout, and exhaustion. Often Manager parts that are active tend to use blame (either towards themselves or others) as a reason why it feels like it has to do what it’s doing. 

Firefighters are parts that also carry protective energy but do so as a reaction. These are parts within the psyche that emerge in response to extreme distress or emotional overwhelm. This part may engage in impulsive or numbing behavior as a way to self soothe or calm the internal system. Firefighters that function in a body that is well regulated carry energy of self-soothing activities such as exercise, creative expression, and seeking social support. Firefighters that function in a body that is dysregulated may result in potentially harmful behaviors such as substance abuse, over or under eating/exercising, self harm, binging on technology, etc. Firefighter parts that are active tend to use impulsivity or numbing or distraction as a way to deal with overwhelming emotions. 

Exiles are parts in the internal psyche that have been disconnected or suppressed due to past traumas or emotional conflicts. Often exiles are parts of our childhood so carry child-like energy to them. Exiles that function in a body that is well regulated allow joy and creativity and freedom and spontaneity. Exiles that function in a body that is dysregulated are often disconnection, hidden from consciousness but can come out in overwhelming ways. They often carry shame, embarrassment and can come out in ways that are distressful. Since exiles can often be hidden from consciousness, they may be felt in more somatic ways carry energy in the body through ways such as tension, chronic conditions, pain, etc.

Who would benefit from Internal Family Systems?

IFS is beneficial for those who have a history of trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, perfectionism, addictive processes including eating disorders, creative blocks, and stress. It is also beneficial to chronic conditions such as autoimmune disorders, migraines, headaches, pain difficulties, etc. 

If IFS is something you are interested in utilizing as a therapeutic option, I encourage you to reach out to me directly!