Parenting Tip: How oral stories help children find courage, strength, friendship
Below is an example of how parents can use a story (with your own imagination) to help teach skills to your child. The below story is to demonstrate difficult emotions such as sadness, feeling lonely, and angry and how to work through those feelings.
Age Ranges for: 1-7 years old
Lesson to help with: Difficult emotions (sadness, loneliness, anger)
Ways to orally tell the story:
Younger children use less details and more animate the story (pretend to pluck fruits and eat them, show the emotions on your face for way sadness looks like, anger, etc.).
Older children you can ask pause and ask them questions throughout (How do you think Little Red Star felt? What do you think she needed?, etc.)
Once upon a time in a faraway land there lived a Little Red Star. This Little Red Star lived on her own little planet. She was a lucky Red Star because she was able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. This Little Red Star spent most of her days doing her favorite activity, growing her own food. She had the most fantastic garden. It had fruits of all kinds. Big, beautiful watermelons. Large, perfectly ripe kiwi. And the best bananas ever. She was one lucky Star!
She spent all her days and nights tending to her garden. She would walk up and down the garden beds, looking tenderly after her fruits and vegetables. She would water them when they needed it, she would talk to them, and she would just spend time looking at her plants in amazement. The Little Red Star loved her life and felt so lucky to have all the things she had. Even though the Little Red Star was so grateful for her garden, when she would listen a bit more to her heart, she would sometimes feel something in her heart. She wasn't sure what it was but she dreamed of having her fruits and vegetables talk back to her. How lovely that would be if she could have that! Her little heart yearned for company.
One day as she was sitting in her garden watering the plants, she came up with an IDEA! How great would it be if she could wish herself friends!?! If she could wish hard enough maybe her plants would grow into something new, something that could be her "friend"! How wonderful would that be! So as she sat there in her garden, Little Red Star closed her little eyes and with all her might said, "I wish I may I wish I might, I really wish with all my heart that my garden's fruit could talk back to me and be my friend." And with all her might and strength she wished and wished and wished. She opened her eyes and.....
Voila....she looked around. Her kiwis were still there. Her bananas were still there. Her carrots were just starting to grow. And nothing was different. Everything remained the same. This Little Red Star looked around and realized it did not work. She felt sad inside and began to cry. She began to think that something was wrong with her. "Why oh why can't I make my wish come true? I closed my eyes, I wished with all my heart and might. But here I look and everything is the same."
Oh this Little Red Star did not like feeling sad and did not like crying so she began to get mad inside. She stomped around her garden and started to look around and get mad at her garden. She began to blame her garden for not making her happy. For not understanding what she needed and for not becoming the friends she wanted. It made her not like her garden anymore, regardless of how happy it used to make her. Now it made her angry. And she began to pull out all the trees, the roots and throw all the vegetables and fruits away. This way, that way, everywhere the bananas and kiwis went. She DESTROYED the garden. And when she was done, the Little Red Star looked around at all her anger had done. At first she thought she felt better because she didn't feel so angry anymore. But then as she looked at all the things she used to love so, and she realized she destroyed their beauty, she began to weep. The Little Red Star cried and cried and cried. She could not believe what she did and now she felt even more sad, even more lonely than she did before.
The Little Red Star cried so loud and so hard that someone in the sky heard her. It was the Sun. The Sun heard all this crying and sadness and she wondered, "My oh my, what is that noise? That sounds like someone weeping in such sadness. I'm going to find out what is going on." So the Sun traveled to finding the planet and there she found what used to look like a beautiful garden. But the beautiful garden was now transformed, it no longer was beautiful. There was dirt everywhere, plants pulled out from the ground, vegetables in disarray. The Sun looked around and wondered what in the world had happened. And as she looked around, she was able to hear the sound of the weeping and there in the corner of the garden was the Little Red Star. The Sun looked over to that Star and said, "My oh my dear Star I see all these tears and weeping, how come you have such sadness inside?" The Little Red Star looked up at the beautiful Sun and said, "I destroyed it all. I was so sad because my garden could no longer make me happy and so I got so mad I could not control my actions. So I ruined it all. And now I feel even more sad and even more lonely. And I do not know what to do."
The Sun then said, "I will help you. I hear and see your heart. I see that you want friends and how hard you are trying on your own. Here is what I can do for you. In the day, I will shine my rays of sunshine out to you so that you will feel that you aren't alone. My Sun will help to keep you warm, bring food to your plants, and will remind you that you are never alone. And then when I go to sleep, my friend the Moon will come out. And with the Moon, he has a sky full of Stars. If you are willing, they can be your friends too."
"Oh what joy!" smiled the Little Red Star. "As long as you are willing to trust me and let me help you, I will be there," said the Sun. The Little Start looked into the Sun's warm eyes and said, "Yes I trust you and believe in what you say. Thank you for listening, hearing my cries, and helping me figure out what I need. You have made my sadness and madness not feel so big anymore."
And that is how the Little Red Star came to believe that she was truly never alone. She had the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars to always be there throughout the day and night. With a thankful heart, the Little Red Star looked around her garden and knew with all her might, "this is just right". The Little Red Star knew that her wish came true after all, maybe not in the way she expected in, but in the way it was just meant to be.
THE END.
Honestly I came up with the Little Red Star because we have a picture on our wall of a red star! From that the story emerged. My intention was knowing that my child was feeling mad the other day and needed help with not feeling stuck in that emotion. Finding your intention and being present with your child is where the best story begins. Any stories you have created for your own children that you have found helpful?? Please share!
